
What’s the number one reason people get so nervous about public speaking? Because they’re focused on themselves. And that’s a mistake. They need to focus on others—not themselves—to become immediately more comfortable with the whole idea of public presentations. Let’s take a quick look at how this works. First, people who are about to make a public speaking presentation log into Google or ChatGPT and ask the magic question: “What do I need to do to prepare to give a public speaking presentation?” And the responses come right back immediately:
• Understand and engage your audience.
• Do your homework/research the topic thoroughly.
• Structure your content appropriately and include compelling visuals.
• Practice your presentation out loud, including voice control and body language.
• Prepare for questions or objections.
• And last but certainly not least: manage your nerves.
These are all valid guidelines, tips, and strategies, no doubt, to ensure that you feel comfortable giving the best presentation possible. But they’re premature: you’re not ready for this yet because you’re missing the most important element of all--the gift you bring to others through your public speaking presentation.
When checklists focus on you—your posture, tone of voice, body language, content mastery, and the like—you’ll simply get nervous. Instead, be a giver, not a taker. Takers tend to have more anxiety: they want and need validation. Givers, on the other hand, are all about service. Their presentation can be less about them and more about helping their audience learn and grow. Presenting becomes an act of service rather than a talent show or need to impress others. With that wisdom in mind, allow me to propose a different initial checklist that you’ll need to get in the right mind space about your upcoming public speaking assignment:
The “Real” Checklist for Initial Public Speaking Prep
Successful public speaking is always focused outward on how you can help, how you can serve, and what you can do to make people’s lives better or easier to navigate. Follow the items in this checklist before any presentation to ensure that you’re in the right mindset:
1. How can I help?
2. How can I support you?
3. What can I do to make your lives or jobs easier?
4. What can I pay forward to help you build your self-confidence?
5. How can I help you do your best work every day with peace of mind?
6. What can I do to give people back to themselves—to feel more respected and trusted, and to build stronger relationships with their boss, coworkers, and customers?
7. How can I help people feel rejuvenated and refreshed, not burned out or exhausted?
8. How is my presentation going to make a difference in terms of making people's lives, jobs, or the world a better place?
9. What two or three takeaways do I want people to remember about my presentation one week or one year from now?
10. What gift do I have to bring forward, and how do I want people to feel after my presentation?
No, I’m not going all “airy fairy” on you. This is real. This is why you’re doing what you’re doing. And this is where you can make a real difference. Remember poet Maya Angelou’s famous quote:
"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Such leadership wisdom applies to becoming someone’s favorite boss, friend, and mentor as much as it does to leading a presentation that has the potential to change someone’s life—or at least make one portion of their job easier to understand or navigate.
No matter what type of public speaking setting or challenge comes your way, simply think of it as an opportunity to help. Look to the ten “Real” checklist items above to determine which of those elements apply to your upcoming speaking opportunity. Then frame your message and deliverables in that spirit of helping others, making their lives easier, and sharing wisdom. No, not every public speaking opportunity will rise to the level of changing people’s lives or careers, but you’re obviously speaking with them for a reason: Look to that kernel of truth where your gift to them lies.
Once you’re focused on others’ needs and your ability to provide a solution, you can exhale. Your shoulders will drop just a bit. Your heart will stop beating so quickly. It’s amazing how people—when challenged to help others—step up to the opportunity. Reframing the public speaking challenge that lies before you in terms of connecting with people, helping and serving them, and making their lives or jobs just a bit easier will go an incredibly long way in calming you down and making you more comfortable in your own shoes.
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For more information about developing stronger business writing and public speaking skills, visit Paul's Toolkits page on his website at https://www.paulfalconehr.com/toolkits.
For more information on Paul's books, please visit his #HarperCollinsLeadership author page at https://www.harpercollinsleadership.com/catalog/paul-falcone/.
You can likewise find his books on Amazon at amazon.com/author/paulfalcone or at Barnes & Noble at https://www.barnesandnoble.com/s/Paul%20Falcone.
For video snippets of Paul’s presentations, visit his YouTube channel at https://www.youtube.com/@paulfalconeHR.
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